FLOTUS Bans Bake Sales With State-Level Sugar And Butter Czars

FLOTUS and Her War on Bake Sales

Mandeville, LA – Exclusive Transcript – “Who established this office of FLOTUS, First Lady of the United States?  And who made the FLOTUS the czar of school cafeterias?  And then who made the czar of school cafeterias the chief nutritionist?  All good and fair questions.  As I pointed out, we’re supposed to have a government that’s free of titles of nobility and what have you.  Well, if FLOTUS is not a title of nobility, then what is it?”  Check out today’s transcript for the rest….

Begin Mike Church Show Transcript

Mike:  Who established this office of FLOTUS, First Lady of the United States?  And who made the FLOTUS the czar of school cafeterias?  And then who made the czar of school cafeterias the chief nutritionist?  All good and fair questions.  As I pointed out, we’re supposed to have a government that’s free of titles of nobility and what have you.  Well, if FLOTUS is not a title of nobility, then what is it?  How has it acquired any legislative power whatsoever?  Ms. Obama has never run for an office.  Most of you don’t want Mr. Obama in office.  So how then in our Lord’s name, how in the world would she have acquired any power?  The fact of the matter is that she hasn’t.  She most certainly — this is one of the things that ought to irk you about those so-called conservatives in the House of Representin’.  Why do they appropriate?

When the president sends a budget request in, I guarantee if you look through it — and this would be the same for Mr. Bush, same for Clinton and Bush before him.

[private FP-Monthly|FP-Yearly|FP-Yearly-WLK|FP-Yearly-So76]

I’m not sure about President Reagan; I’d have to look it up.  Contained in those budget requests, I guarantee you, are requisitions for funding FLOTUS, Office of the First Lady.  For what purpose?  Why?  This is more of this elevation and this de facto building of and

construction of a modern aristocracy.  If you’re not part of the aristocracy, then what are we part of?  We’re part of the hoi polloi.  We’re part of the peasantry.  We’re not entitled, we’re not ennobled, we’re not beknighted; therefore, what?  You are a shekel maker.  You make your shekels, hand them over to the State, and they spend it on your behalf because they are so much smarter and wiser than you are.  There may be some, to be fair, that are smarter and wiser, but look around you.  Do they even have enough to make a quorum?

Of course, any weekend spent viewing the collective activities of significant numbers of Americans leaves me no hope whatsoever that many of those are capable of self-governing as well.  As I said earlier, we may be looking at this Congress thing all wrong.  When we get into the story of the bake sale ban, you will notice that the bake sale ban cannot go into effect if the states don’t go along with it.  The states are only too receptive to it and are going along with it.  “Put Down the Cupcake: New Ban Hits School Bake Sales” is the Wall Street Journal headline, “New Requirements May Squeeze Out Gooey Fundraising Fare; Fat Standard.”

[reading]

At Chapman School in Nebraska, resourceful students hawk pizza and cookie dough to raise money for school supplies, field trips and an eighth-grade excursion to Washington. [Mike: Why they would do such a thing is beyond me.] They peddle chocolate bars to help fund the yearbook.

But the sales won’t be so sweet starting this fall. Campus bake sales—a mainstay of school fundraisers—are going on a diet. A federal law that aims to curb childhood obesity means that, in dozens of states, bake sales must adhere to nutrition requirements that could replace cupcakes and brownies with fruit cups and granola bars.

[end reading]

Mike:  This is so preposterous.  So let me see if I understand this.  We have Ebola virus-infected Africans coming across the Southern border.  We have — I don’t know why I have a brain spasm on this.  Paul, help me out.  What’s the other virus, the Dangu?

Paul:  Dengue virus.

Mike:  We have them coming across with the Dengue virus.  We already have a civilian population that has some sort of resistant strains, multiple drug resistance, it’s called, MDRTB, of tuberculosis.  We have deaths reported from this.  We have other diseases that are being spread across the entire union of states by illegal aliens that are storming the border and then shipped off to recipient homes across the U.S., sometimes as far away as Hawaii and Alaska, for Heaven’s sake.  We have all these problems.  I haven’t even gotten into the other problems, dozens and dozens of problems that will never be addressed because they can’t be addressed by an authority that’s thousands of miles away.  They can talk about addressing it but they can’t actually addressing it.  So problems that remain are festering out there but we have time and resources and manpower to write regulations to supervise what is sold at a high school bake sale.  This is beyond insanity.  This is comedy.  This would have appeared in Mad Magazine 30 years ago as a joke.  This would have been part of a Saturday Night Live skit back in the day, yet it’s all too real today.

Where does the power come from to do any of this?  Where has the power been conferred?  Last I checked, the power is being denied.  We have movements all across the United States to try and stop this scourge of implementing these standards known as Common Core.  Parents are asserting, across the amber waves of fuel, that the federal government or the national democratic leviathan has no authority over their local schools and they need to butt out on this.  If parents in that locality don’t want Common Core, they don’t have to have it.  In many instances, the parents are winning.  Yet, it seems, when I finish this bake sale story with you, you’re going to hear that the parents that want to do bake sales are not winning and are going to be told no, and not just no by the Department of Education or the Food and Drug Administration are going to be told no by their state Board of Education.  The little tyrants, the minor league players that wish to bat in the big leagues someday in Congress have jumped on the bandwagon.

[reading]

Davis High School in Kaysville, Utah, was fined more than $15,000 during the 2012-2013 school year for selling certain snacks and carbonated beverages . . .

[end reading]

Mike:  [mocking] “Is that a Mountain Dew, mister?” — “Yes, sir.” — “Where did you get this Mountain Dew?” — “I bought it at the bake sale, sir.” — “You bought it at the bake sale!”

[reading]

The Utah Department of Education conducted on-site visits and found the infractions.

[end reading]

Mike:  As I said, it’s easy just to blame Michelle Obama and the federales, but it’s the little tin-horned tyrant dictators that meander about the states’ countryside are the ones doing the enforcement here.  Oh, but you remain convinced that if the Feds ever send an order out for the states to start acting — you may have to start confiscating all kinds of things in your state, not just Twinkies and Ho-Hos and Ding-Dongs and Mars bars and Twix bars and what have you.  You might have to start confiscating some other things that we tell you to.  It’s for your own good, though.

[reading]

The Utah Department of Education conducted on-site [Mike: raid]. The fine was reduced to $1,297, according to Christopher Williams. [Mike: Because obviously they were nefarious in their actions here and they were trying to fatten the kids up. They weren’t trying to raise money for the marching band.] Said Tennessee’s Mr. Sevier: “It’s not like we’re going to have a brigade of black helicopters in to check.”

[end reading]

Mike:  You would.  You would.  If you could afford it, you would.  That’s the point.  They would.  They’re only limited by the amount of funds that they’ve extracted from the same people that they now inveigh so heavily over.  So let me ask you a question, and I’ve asked the question before: How’s that immigration with representation working out for you?  Not so well.  How’s that taxation with representation working out for you?

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Not so well.  How is that fat and sugar consumption with representation working out for us now?  Everywhere and all around, the god that is democracy, inspired by the god that is liberty, is failing.  Not only is it failing, it is failing to deliver that which it promised, which was all this freedom.

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It is failing to deliver: But we’re going to be governed by ourselves.  We get to write our own rules and laws.  Yay!  Yippee!  Well, how’s that working out for us?  We answer to no one.  We take subsidiarity and submit ourselves to absolutely no one.  There’s no reference whatsoever in our public behavior, when it comes to any higher authority.  Unless it resides within an alabaster-clad building with some pillars out in front of it, we don’t give it any credence, none.

End Mike Church Show Transcript