Mandeville, LA – Exclusive Transcript – “Of course, if our goal were really to educate our children, then we would drop all public schools. They would end tomorrow morning. Our infatuation with this self-imposed regulatory system known as K-12 would also end.” Check out today’s transcript for the rest….
Begin Mike Church Show Transcript
The recent antics at the nation’s universities have led people to expect almost anything from academia. There are safe spaces that resemble adult playpens where students can shield themselves from “microaggressions.” There are trigger warnings to help students protect their politically-correct sensitivities from free speech. And now… there are college student coloring books. [Mike: I’d wager you that they’ll probably learn more from the coloring books than they will in advanced disadvantaged gender studies on the East African continent.]
That’s right. College coloring books with colored pencils or felt pens are now the rage as administrators scramble to find ways to help students de-stress. [Mike: Who knew that putting actually working for your own living or pursuing of vocation, maybe motherhood, fatherhood, husbandry, who knew it could be stressful to go to school?] Ironically, students who break all the rules at campus protests find solace in staying within the lines.
Mike: I’m going to wage a protest right now. I reject and I demand that you stop oppressing me by suggesting that I must color inside the lines. This is oppression here. I should be able to make my own line. Just listen to Senator Kaine. We should trust college students to draw their own lines to color inside of, by gum. I’m going to show you what my vision of a politically-correct, sensitive microaggression, stress-less coloring book looks like. Are you ready? I won’t need my glasses for this. The details are not details. This is what we should be putting down in front of those tots, tikes and tikettes, so that they can express themselves and make their own lines. That is a perfect coloring book page. Right, Maggie O’Connell? You see that? There’s no lines. No one is oppressed. No one is singled out. It’s genderless. You can choose your own gender on it. You can choose your own sex on it. You can choose your own color on it. You can choose your own species. You can be anything you want on my coloring book page. You see that?
If you’re wondering what my coloring book page was, it was just a plain sheet – wait a minute. I just erred. What color is that paper? Maggie O’Connell, what color is the paper? White. Christopher, is there any shipping paper in the back that is gray, natural in color, that hasn’t been bleached? This is offensive coloring book paper. It’s white. Let this be your Church Doctrine for the day here. How dare I? I’ve actually inserted a color in here, a pigment. I’m going to go search for color-less paper, like newsprint. Newsprint is not white. Newsprint is off-white. That’s why liberals love to print so much on it, because they know it’s not offending the people that get it. Back to the story:
The old-fashioned coloring book, perhaps one of the few undigitized things left, is going viral. Students, who try to pass themselves off as twenty-one-year-olds to drink alcohol, are eager to assume the role of five-year-olds when it is time to bring out the crayons.
This is not a marketing fad like the adult coloring book rage. Rather, official university policy is fueling the student coloring experience. These are not isolated colleges but campuses nationwide, including Ivy League schools. While there is yet to appear a Coloring 101 course, [Mike: Give them time. By gum, I guarantee you by the time we get to transgender paradise, there will be a coloring 501, and a pair of jeans to match. Some of you older people got that.] university employees are the ones handing out the coloring books and holding “coloring events” on campus.
American University, for example, provided coloring sheets on campus, explaining on its Facebook page how coloring “can help with a number of emotional and mental health issues.” The Facebook page of University of California San Diego reported on “De-Stress Coloring Nights” before finals last semester with all materials provided. In 2015, Brown University offered coloring books (and Play-Doh) in all its “safe space” rooms. The University of Missouri handed out an official Mizzou Coloring Book at its student union. [Mike: I am so glad now that LSU kicked your mortal behinds Saturday. You know what? They probably were drawing plays up on the coloring book.] The University of Nebraska-Omaha organizes regular DeStress Fests at the university library with large turnouts. All of this is done in the name of therapy. [Mike: Folks, again, you can’t make this stuff up.]
However, college officials have got it wrong in offering this therapy. The purpose of university education is not meant to be therapeutic but formative. [Mike: No, it’s not, Mr. Horvat. You obviously are a member of the bourgeoisie.] The university should be concerned with the pursuit of truth, and not the stressful acquiring of knowledge and facts for future careers and debt repayment.
The university is meant to form character in students and prepare them for adulthood and family life. Students should be exposed to a philosophy of education in which they are taught to confront reality and overcome obstacles they will find when they live in the real world. The university should be a place of culture where the classic insights of the great thinkers of the past can benefit the present. College should mark a farewell to childhood and childish things. It should be the exhilarating embrace of independence and adult responsibilities.
Mike: Let me tell you something else it should be, Mr. Horvat. Rare. That’s right, rare, like steak. Why? Because only the elite few need college. Of course, if our goal were really to educate our children, then we would drop all public schools. They would end tomorrow morning. Our infatuation with this self-imposed regulatory system known as K-12 would also end. Who is to say that if you did not have, in the absence of a structured order grade system, that instead if you just said: Okay, there are levels of literature that children can learn and be exposed to. There are levels of language. What if you approached education as the classic educators did, from the point of view of: What are we going to teach this young man? Why don’t we teach him how to think? Let’s start him off, those that do go to education, with the basics. Start you off with language. Start you off with the Trivium. Then we’ll graduate to the Quadrivium. If you want to go beyond there, you’ve got doctor, lawyer, engineering, a couple other fields, philosophizing, that you might need a higher education for, but not much else. Most everything else can be taught at these things called vo-tech centers. [mocking] “Aw, Mr. Church, please stop dreaming.” We could bring back the guild system. You could bring back the apprentices. Boy howdy, would I love to have a radio apprentice or 16 running around here. Mr. Horvat’s conclusion here on “The Reason College Students Are Using Coloring Books.”
In short: Everything is fluid, constructed, and subjective. [Mike: I actually like those academia nuts. I know, it’s terrible. That was a Christopher joke there.] In modern academia, there is no objective truth or any applications of that truth.
Mike: There can’t be because modern universities are no longer seminaries as they should be. Universities should prepare a young man or a young woman to live a life, if they choose, as a religious. [mocking] “Mitter Church, please! That’s not the purpose of education.” Let’s not confuse vocational training for education. This is the theme of this show today. What’s the highest good? The highest good man can pursue is a blessed eternity. That’s what it is. It’s a blessed eternity. If that’s the highest good – of course, you have to come to the conclusion and the reality that the highest good is obtained in pursuit of the spiritual. If it’s obtained from pursuit of the spiritual, then can the spiritual be taught? Yes.
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To teach the spiritual in the official or shall we say ordered version requires a very specific and precise set of things to be instructed on: language, reading, writing, arithmetic, mathematics, astronomy, music. We don’t take music – you probably laugh at someone when they say they have a liberal arts degree in music. Don’t laugh. That’s a great degree. That means they actually have an appreciation, or were taught to have an appreciation, for something beautiful. Music is in the Quadrivium. Did you know that? This is what we’re missing out on here. Did you also know that astronomy is in the Quadrivium? Did you know that? Looking up at the skies at the heavens was counseled by Aristotle, counseled by St. Thomas Aquinas. Why? Because it makes you contemplate, that’s why. Happiness does not come from the will; it comes from the intellect. All these things that are being pursued in “college” are allegedly to make people “happy” with their “careers.”
End Mike Church Show Transcript