Mandeville, LA – Exclusive Transcript – Folks, it is slim pickings out there for this. I searched for this and was just blown away by the dearth of returns. Not only is no one else or few people in media or broadcast media or internet media talking about this; you can’t even find people in the five counties that actually voted to secede that are talking about it. Check out today’s transcript for the rest…
Begin Mike Church Show Transcript
Mike: I might as well finish the rest of the story here, the Colorado secession initiative. Since no one else will talk about it, I will. Here are the results that you people were seeking yesterday.
Washington, Phillips, Yuma, Kit Carson, and Cheyenne Counties voted in favor of secession from the State of Colorado, while Weld, Logan, Sedgwick, Elbert, Lincoln, and Carson Counties rejected the 51st state question. [Mike: In other words, they voted to continue involuntary servitude to Mount Doom in Colorado.] Voters in Moffat County, the sole northwestern county involved in secession threats, also rejected secession, halting the possibility of it becoming a new panhandle to Wyoming.
Mike: What happens then is you have five counties that voted yea, five counties that voted no — these were contiguous, if you look at them on a map. The one county that was kind of separated, which was Moffat, if it would have seceded, I guess what the plan was is they would have asked Wyoming or they would have asked to become annexed or part of Wyoming. That would have been the plan. The fact remains, you have a block now, a solid block of five counties that voted to govern themselves and leave the stewardship of Mount Doom in Denver, Colorado.
The question to voters reads: “Shall the Board of County Commissioners of ______ County, in concert with the county commissioners of other Colorado counties, pursue becoming the 51st state of the United States of America?” [Mike: This is according to Matt Ferner, who lifted my “If at first you don’t secede, try, try again” quote and did not attribute me.]
The counties whose voters approved of secession plans cannot automatically break free from Colorado now; it simply allows officials in those counties to pursue the idea of secession further.
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Mike: Really? So you had to have a vote in order to even say the ‘s’ word now, to even consider it? You have to go out and have a ballot initiative? Is there anything else out there? I want you to just think about this for a moment. A woman can become, through her own and her partner’s own irresponsible behavior, impregnated in 40-plus states inside this Union here, can conceive a child. About 18 weeks into that conception, she can say: I’m free and independent. I want to secede from that fetus. I want that fetus to secede from me. That woman can then go to a clinic and find a nurse practitioner in California, or a veterinarian, or someone else in another state, maybe a doctor, maybe not, and they can have a procedure called an abortion. They can have the fetus secede. The woman can secede — that’s right, I’m using it in the terms of abortion. A woman can secede from her fetus and can have the fetus thus seceded, ripped from inside of her, of course, metaphysically challenged then, or as we say in the modern era, dead, mortis. That’s fine and dandy.
Every woman alive on the face of the planet and the entire known universe has the universal, constitutional God-given and defended by the supreme court of the United States right to do that secession. But you let a rancher in Colorado threaten to secede from Mount Doom in Denver and [mocking] “Hold on, we don’t live in that kind of a free country, sir.” But the woman can secede from the kid, kill the kid. [mocking] “That’s your interpretation, not ours, sir. You will obey your Colorado and federal overlords. You will not use that word secede. You love to run around and call this the freest, greatest country in the history of the world. Let me tell you something. You keep using that secede word and keep saying that women are seceding from their fetuses and we’ll slap a lawsuit on you faster than you can say Roe v. Wade, bucko, faster than you can say Obamacare HealthCare.gov does not work. You got me, mister?”
Let’s think about that for a moment. So ranchers in Colorado, farmers in Colorado, oil men, those that have what are known as mineral rights in Colorado, cannot, must not, and are evil and despicable human beings if they vote to secede from the government of Colorado and form their own government. Follow me here. Women out there with their plumbing, shall we say, and voting to secede from their fetuses — I’m using their language, by the way, intentionally — they are of the highest order. They are of the most pristine and pure moral fiber and turpitude. If Christ were alive today, he might say that those women would inherit the earth. They’re probably meek, too. This is a cherished, granted by the 14th Amendment, God-given right.
Is there a problem then with the use of the terminology? When I say secede in a political sense, anathema; when I say secede in a medical sense, especially when it comes to that fetus or to that baby who will never draw their first breath as an American citizen, not so much. Anyone else see a contradiction there? Continuing on with the story:
Weld County District Attorney Ken Buck, who is also running as a Republican candidate for the U.S. Senate, said last week that he would vote against the secession plan. [Mike: Of course he would. He’s trying to become an establishment Republican. No established member of any political party could utter that word. That word is nuclear.]
“I think the better strategy is to work to defeat the out-of-touch politicians causing this feel of separation,” Buck told The Denver Post.
Buck’s sentiments were apparently shared by the majority of voters in Weld County as well as the other sparsely-populated counties in Colorado’s northeast and northwest corners that rejected the 51st state plan, but the very real cultural divide between Colorado’s urban centers and rural plains still remains.
“There is getting to be such a great disconnect and unfortunately it’s kind of drawn a line between urban people and those on the land,” Weld County resident Chuck Sylvester said to Al Jazeera.
Mike: If you’re looking for someone to cover this story, you might have to get Al Jazeera from your cable provider. Do you have Al Jazeera? Are you on cable or are you on satellite?
AG: I’m on cable. I see all the commercials, but I don’t believe I get that channel.
Mike: I’m still on DirecTV. I don’t know if I have Al Jazeera. I’ll have to check that out. Anyway, if you want to hear what’s going on in Colorado, then get Al Jazeera, because they’re the only media outlet other than this show, and Matt Ferner at the Huffington post, that’s covering the story.
“The heart of the 51st State Initiative is simple,” the backers of the measure explain on their website. “We just want to be left alone to live our lives without heavy-handed restrictions from the state capitol.
The prospects of secession actually occurring in the five counties that approved of the question are slim to none.
Mike: How do you people that live in those five counties answer that charge? You know what you do? Start calling your counties by baby names. Just say: Look, we want to be called babies and we want for an external entity to abort us. Just abort us from Colorado. Who on the left could possibly oppose that, right?
The prospects of secession actually occurring in the five counties that approved of the question are slim to none. For the secession to be successful, voters in each county would have to approve of the idea. Then North Colorado statehood would have to be approved by the state legislature . . .
Mike: I asked the question yesterday and still have not received a response from a solitary living soul. Please explain to me why the rest of Colorado would say no. As a matter of fact, why don’t I get a phone call or an email or a tweet or a Facebook post or a letter in the mail from some other resident of Colorado that says: No, we’re not going to let those people go. No, they’re not Moses, and no, we’re not going to let those people go. While you’re sending that along, please explain why. What’s the reason?
The last state to successfully form a new state was West Virginia in 1863 [Mike: Actually, it didn’t; Lincoln did], while the nation was embroiled in the Civil War.
States like Vermont, Tennessee, Kentucky, Maine and West Virginia are often cited as successful examples of secession — all of those states petitioned for statehood for reasons based on cultural divides.
Mike: What difference does it make what the reason is, Matt? What difference does it make? That doesn’t have anything to do with the legality of it. In any event, there’s your update on Colorado. Folks, it is slim pickings out there for this. I searched for this and was just blown away by the dearth of returns. Not only is no one else or few people in media or broadcast media or internet media talking about this; you can’t even find people in the five counties that actually voted to secede that are talking about it. I went to the 51st State Initiative website last night and it hasn’t even been updated, other than to say they were going to have a celebration on Tuesday night. Today is Thursday. There you go. I might read that as if to read that the people that voted in the affirmative may be shamed and guilt-tripped into recanting their votes. What a tragedy that would be.
End Mike Church Show Transcript