Mandeville, LA – Exclusive Transcript – I want all you young ladies out there to stop what you’re doing right now. This applies to you. I want all of you to listen to this. There’s an obituary today. Do you know who it’s for? There’s a big one today. It’s the original Carrie Bradshaw, the founding mother of Gal Qaeda. What’s her name, Helen Gurley Brown. This is the founding mother of Gal Qaeda. This is a woman that is being called the original Carrie Bradshaw. Check out the rest in today’s transcript…
Begin Mike Church Show Transcript
Mike: There’s a news item today. I want all you young ladies out there to stop what you’re doing right now, and you, too, Jim and Mr. Gruss. This applies to you. I want all of you to listen to this. There’s an obituary today. Do you know who it’s for? There’s a big one today. It’s the original Carrie Bradshaw, the founding mother of Gal Qaeda. What’s her name, Helen Gurley Brown. This is the founding mother of Gal Qaeda. This is a woman that is being called the original Carrie Bradshaw.
This is a woman that all of your daughters ought to hold in high esteem and ought to thank God that she led the way out of the kitchen. That’s right. There was a march that was led out of that slave house known as the kitchen. There was a march led out of that slave house known as a laundry room. Helen Gurley Brown told those young women to take their bras off, burn them, have illicit sex with men they’ll never be able to see or identify again in their lives and leave them after they’ve had the first orgasm.
The beatification of these people, another one of these freakazoids from the 1960’s that took 2,500 years of recorded Western civilization, looked at it and went, “Screw you.” Looked at it and went, [mocking] “No, there’s a better way. I’m unshackling. I’m untethering myself from this silly civilization. No more of that for me. Screw surviving another 2,500 years. Screw prospering and having civilizations another 2,500 years. No, we can remake the world in our own image.” Well, Helen Gurley Brown was one of those.
I had to turn the volume down on CNN this morning when Zoraida Sambolin was fawning, and so was John Berman, these twits, fawning over Helen Gurley Brown and all the wonderful things we got out of the original Carrie Bradshaw. She was a founding mother of Cosmopolitan Magazine. Do you know how many times I’ve gone to the grocery store lately and taken copies of Good Housekeeping or something else and put them in front of the Cosmo magazine at Wal-Mart, finally took off of its racks? My local grocer, I should complain to these people, still has it. Have you read the cover of a Cosmo magazine lately?
Mike: Do you want to see everything that is wrong, or all the potential horrific things that are going to happen to our daughters without severe, guarded and long-term intervention? Read the cover of a Cosmo magazine. If you want to see the sex-drenched, love-starved Hades that they’re going to fall into, read the cover of Cosmo. We’re supposed to have parades today, I guess, for Helen Gurley Brown. Well, like Dick Clark before him, this was the beginning of an end. It is an awful end for those that value virtue and the true beauty of the female and female form, and what it is that women biologically give to civilization that men cannot. Of course, we’ve taken that away from them. We’ve told them, [mocking] “Don’t you dare think you can’t have a career, shame on you. Don’t you dare think that you shouldn’t go to a four-year college.”
I was reading in the Boston Herald today. This was the one that as I was reading it, my blood was boiling. As I’m reading this, Jim, as we’re talking about gender politics, the Boston Herald wrote something to this effect, “Before there was Sex and the City” — by the way, how many ecstatic, comforted, satisfied, satiated with their current lots in life have the Sex and the City Carrie Bradshaw types, how many do they have to their credit? You find fulfillment in certain things. Have you found fulfillment in having illicit sex with men you’ll never be able to point out in a crowd again whenever you want because you can now? How’s that working out for you?
Before there was “Sex and the City,” there was “Sex and the Single Girl.” And before there was Carrie Bradshaw, there was Helen Gurley Brown . . . the long-serving Cosmopolitan editor and author of “Sex and the Single Girl.” [Mike: It used to be that sex is something you withheld so that you could get married. Now it’s something you can do so you don’t have to get married.] And why limit talk of her influence to the United States? “Hers has been a liberating message for women in other countries.”
Mike: Liberating to what? What have they been liberated to do? The woman that called me earlier today was sitting in a freaking traffic jam. Congratulations, you’re as miserable as the men out here. These people PO me to no end. The founding mother of Gal Qaeda, yes, let’s have a parade today. Let’s do like we did for the — in my young founders speech when I tell the story of how Charles Carroll of Carrollton and Andrew Gruss’s Marylander ancestors, when they cared about their liberty, took a copy of the proclamation from the royal governor that they refused to abide by and dissolved their assembly, took it and not only did they not dissolve their assembly, they unelected his and elected one of their own unanimity, all of it. In 1773, they took his proclamation and had a procession. They put the proclamation in a box. They marched out to the field. They took the proclamation out of the coffin, hanged it, and then they put it in the coffin, dug a hole and buried it. That’s what ought to be done to “Sex and the Single Girl.” You don’t canonize and beatify these people. This is where the train partially went off the tracks permanently. Sorry about that. I knew there was something that I wanted to talk about today that I hadn’t gotten into.
Jim: Mike, I’m glad you got that off your chest.
Mike: I am glad. So as far as women voting for women, yes, the women voting for women are the women voting for men to buy favors for them so that they can continue their Carrie Bradshaw lifestyles. Well, I’m not financing your Carrie Bradshaw lifestyle anymore, Ms. Fluke, or any of the rest of you. You want to buy condoms? You want IUD devices? You want birth control pills? Buy them yourself. You want to pop kids out that don’t have a baby daddy, that’s on you. That’s not on me. That’s on you. You’re the one that’s reckless. You want to have an abortion because you couldn’t stay home one night by yourself and read a book? Fine. You pay for it. I’m drawing the line, Jim, I’m drawing the line. Across this line, you do not cross.
End Mike Church Show Transcript