Mrs Clinton’s Faux Attempt At Humility: I’ll Be Everyone’s Champion!

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Mandeville, LA – Exclusive Transcript – “Folks, seriously, this is offensive.  This is logically, philosophically, politically, in every manner that you can imagine, this is offensive.  I’m going to tell you why it’s offensive… the idea behind what’s driving the launch of that[TV] commercial and this campaign is that the American sheeple, me, you, all the rest of us, are absolutely, positively, irrevocably lost children and Hillary is Jesus.  Hillary comes to us in the form of our savior but with female plumbing.  She can fix and repair everything that could possibly be wrong with your life if you will just let her be your champion.”  Check out today’s transcript AND Clip of The Day for the rest….

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Begin Mike Church Show Transcript

Mike:  If you’re going to get the full impact of the Hillary ad, you have to watch it.  I’ll play you the audio, but it’s not enough to just listen to the audio.  You have to see the images there so that you can see all of these wonderful, hardworking people that are just getting shafted.  The great irony of this is – I don’t know if this is – of course it’s intentional.  The advertisement is a dig at Obama.  It’s Obama that’s running the show.  It’s Obama that boasts and brags about running the show.  It’s Obama that boasts and brags about all of his achievements.  Who is she running against?  Republicans can’t get out of their own way when it comes to legislation, unless it’s to bomb someone or to maim someone 8,000 miles away.  She’s obviously aiming this, in the short run anyways, at the president that she once served. 

We are the people we have always been waiting for and we just needed Hillary to come in and unlock all of our potential.  I have a question.  Why wasn’t Mrs. Clinton out there helping all these poor, sappy souls to repair and improve their lives before deciding to run for president?  If she has all these magical and powerful skills and

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all these solutions, why wasn’t she just so kind enough because she cares so much about the human condition and about the plight of everyday losers to help us all?

Folks, seriously, this is offensive.  This is logically, philosophically, politically, in every manner that you can imagine, this is offensive.  I’m going to tell you why it’s offensive.  It has as its driving – the point that’s driving this, the idea behind what’s driving the launch of that commercial and this campaign is that the American sheeple, me, you, all the rest of us, are absolutely, positively, irrevocably lost children and Hillary is Jesus.  Hillary comes to us in the form of our savior but with female plumbing.  She can fix and repair everything that could possibly be wrong with your life if you will just let her be your champion.  She’s your champion.  Did you hear that?  She’s your champion.  We’ll all be eating Wheaties together.  Can you imagine this?  There’ll be Hillary on the cover of a Wheaties box.  As a matter of fact, I might make that graphic myself today.

To understand and grasp what I just told you, go watch the video.  You will come away with the same impression.  When I came to work this morning, I did not realize just how pathetic I am and how much in need I am of a president to help me when I go to the bathroom today.  Seriously, there’s nothing that Mrs. Clinton cannot do, nothing.  Some of you may think, [mocking] “That’s a little strong, Mr. Church.”  Is it really?  Really?  This from the woman – I played you the clip on Friday – who told Katie Couric, [mocking] “Well, Katie, it is going to be me, but I’m modest and humble about it.”  The term humility means nothing to the Clintons.

I’m going to get to Brendan Dougherty here.  There’s another piece on this with some interesting – if you’re into this sort of thing – at Politico they had posted this yesterday “The power players behind Hillary Clinton’s campaign.”  It shows all the usual suspects, many of whom were involved in the 2008 race, the senate races when she ran for the Senate.  Here’s an interesting one: Huma Abedin.  How many of you people remember who Huma Abedin is?  Paul, do you remember who Huma Abedin is?

Paul:  She’s one of the major power players.

Mike:  Yeah, but do you know who she is?

Paul:  Is she still married to –

Mike:  She is Mrs. Anthony Weiner.  There’s a who’s who of this.  This is one of the pieces I have not posted in today’s Pile of Prep.  One of the things we find when we look at the who’s who of who Mrs. Clinton’s inner circle is just a reminder – I’m not breaking any news here – of the equally offensive to the prior insult, which is the launch of Hillary’s campaign as some sort of a humble and modest homage to Mrs. Clinton.  You will see in the list – if you go down and read the little bios about the power players – of just how much money and influence there is in major two-party politics. 

These people do not live in 1500-square-foot ranch homes down the street from you and me.  They don’t drive used cars, if they drive at all.  The excess and the drenched with privilege that this class operates is as offensive as the statement that Mrs. Clinton is modest and humble.  If you needed any reassurance of the point that politics today and our governmental system is a system that is rigged for the benefit of the pretty, for the benefit of the elite who have done nothing to earn the privilege other than forego any attachment to any moral code whatsoever.  An attachment to a moral code would say that it is illegitimate, it is immoral, it is unthinkable that I should earn the profligate riches that have been accorded me, and I have earned it on the backs of other people’s work.  And they don’t have a say-so in the matter.  The great game is you think you have a say-so in the matter.  As we discover here on this show, you know that you don’t.

Whether Mrs. Clinton is elected or whether Rand Paul – the only possibility that holds out any hope is that Senator Paul would be chosen as a GOP candidate and would dust Mrs. Clinton in the general.  That’s really the only scenario that holds out any hope for any of us regaining – or for the old attachments of politics anyways, the great desideratum, Latin for the thing longed for, smaller government and constitutional government, etc., etc.  None of that is in the offing here.  That’s the most depressing part about all this.

Folks, let me just tell you – again, I’m just trying to be honest here.  We know what the outcome of this is.  Again, Senator Rand Paul is the only wildcard in the entire endeavor here.  Otherwise, we know the outcome.  We know that nothing is going to materially change.  We know that the beautiful and the elite are going to remain in control.  And even if Paul is elected that will still be true.  It may be fractionally or marginally less true but it will be true.  That really is the depressing part about this.  But we should not despair.  We have lots of other things that we can work on in our lives, which is why my passion and my desire for these major party politics, political party squabbles wanes.  Michael Brendan Dougherty:

[reading]

Hillary already wears the mantle of presumptive nominee for president.  She’s an accomplished lawyer, a member of Walmart’s board of directors, a close adviser to her husband when he was president, a two-term senator from New York, and secretary of state. And yet, she is a horrible politician. [Mike: Underscore that. That’s precisely correct. But it doesn’t matter if she’s a horrible politician. It’s irrelevant.]

So far, she has been able to sew up lots of Democratic money and support, and build an organization without actually beginning her campaign. She hasn’t even decided on running, but maintains the repose of someone awaiting her party’s coronation. That is a wise strategy.

Consider that Clinton has run in three elections. Her two wins in New York are not all that impressive, really. Instead of facing the powerful and well-funded Rudy Giuliani in 2000, who withdrew for health reasons, she was up against Representative Rick Lazio. Lazio only entered the race five months before it ended. And in her re-election in 2006, the New York GOP let a Yonkers mayor, John Spencer, be the sacrificial lamb. It is questionable whether many of the 31 percent of voters who went for him even knew his name before entering the voting booth.

And of course she lost the only electoral race where she faced a credible opponent. In the 2008 race for the Democratic nomination she blew a massive early lead. One of the only reasons she did not get completely pasted by Barack Obama was his horrible off-the-record flub about rural voters “clinging to their guns and religion.” Clinton immediately invented a strategy later used by the Tea Party and Glenn Beck of trying to tar Obama as an alien and radical. In their April 16 debate in Pennsylvania, she tried to highlight Obama’s “relationship with Reverend Farrakhan” and portray him as a supporter of Hamas. This strategy failed utterly.

Her bad instinct in that campaign, one that energized his base and the media against her, is emblematic of a deeper problem. Clinton’s vanity and self-regard lead her to consistently portray herself, falsely, as uniquely embattled.

[end reading]

Mike:  In other words, she likes to run against her own image and the image that has been crafted that somehow she has suffered all these horrible attacks, these horrific attacks against her and she hasn’t earned any of them.  Why are people picking on her, in other words.

[reading]

She may even see herself this way. It has worked well for her exactly twice. The first was the Lazio bullying incident. And the second was when she teared up on the way to victory in New Hampshire.

But the rest of the time it just leads her to tell embarrassing tall tales about herself or her opponents.

[end reading]

Mike:  By the way, do you remember the Hillar-A Team?  Remember this bit?  This is on my anthology collection.  I used to play this bit all the time.  This is one of the tall tales that she spun:

[start audio file]

I remember landing under sniper fire. There was no ceremony.

[end audio file]

Mike:  That’s not what happened.  Folks, that’s a whopper bigger than the one Brian Williams of NBC News told.  As a matter of fact, we had a caller on this show not a month or so ago that confirmed – he was there – that confirmed there were no snipers.  No one shot at her.  She even got the model of the plane wrong.  In other words, she fabricated the entire incident.  It never happened.  NBC News couldn’t lay her off and she’s still telling the same whopper.  As a matter of fact, you know what would be fun?  I hope somebody asks her about this.  [mocking] “Could you run us back through the sniper fire incident in Bosnia?”  I’d love to see that.  Back to Brendan Dougherty.

[reading]

But the rest of the time it just leads her to tell embarrassing tall tales about herself or her opponents. She claimed to have landed under “sniper fire” in Bosnia in 1996, ducking rounds between airplane and car, when in fact she was walking and chatting with comedian Sinbad. On her book tour she claimed to have been “dead broke” after leaving the White House . . .

[end reading][/private]

Mike:  That’s another one of these whoppers.  The Clintons are famous for lying.  [mocking Bill Clinton] “I want you to listen to me.  I will say this again.  I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Ms. Lewinsky.  I never asked anyone to lie, not a single time, not ever, except for that girl that was delivering them hotdogs the other day.  These allegations are false and I need to get back to work for the American people to do the job that they hired me to do, in between me assaulting women in my library.  I said it out loud.  I didn’t mean to.  I want you to listen to me.  You need to vote for my wife because I desperately need to get an intern back in that White House.  You gotta win this time, honey.”

You see the corruption and the lack of morality here?  I suspect that some of these lies will be repeated or questions will be asked about them.  We shouldn’t kid ourselves that honesty actually matters to anyone or actually matters to very many people that call themselves Americans these days.  It doesn’t.  If it did, then making an – I’m going to quote this to you – “making an honest living” would be of paramount concern.  It is not honest to make your living on the backs and through the toil of others who have no say-so in the confiscation of portions of said toil.

End Mike Church Show Transcript