Now Conservatives Want A Wall On The Canadian Border – Dudley Do-Right Report For Duty

Mandeville, LA – Exclusive Transcript – If I tried to make some of today’s headlines up, I would fail for lack of imagination, I really would.  Just browsing some of the headlines we have today, if I were a novelist writing fiction or political thriller fiction, I could not write today’s fiction headlines.  Check out today’s transcript for the rest….

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Begin Mike Church Show Transcript

Mike:  If I tried to make some of today’s headlines up, I would fail for lack of imagination, I really would.  Just browsing some of the headlines we have today, if I were a novelist writing fiction or political thriller fiction, I could not write today’s fiction headlines.  By the way, I would love to entertain all manner of reasons why a wall with Canada or twixt us and Canada is a good idea.  I’d also love to entertain the constitutionality of these walls.  Where do you find barrier walls in the Constitution that so many of you are so proud to carry around in your back pockets and quote all the time?  [mocking] “Mr. Church, what we need is a constitutionalist.  And even if he is not a constitutionalist, if he is acting like one like

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Donald Trump, then we’ll take him.”  Where do you find walls?  [mocking] “Under national security.”  Okay, where do you find national security?  [mocking] “It’s in the preamble.”  All right, the preamble is not law.  The preamble is descriptive.  It’s not law.  Where do you find that at?  [mocking] “It’s in the war clause.”  Okay.  What does it say in the war clause?  What does it say in the war clause?  Declare war.  What else does it say?  Something about raising armies and putting navies on the high seas.  What else does it say?  Post roads and bridges.

What do we know — for all the constitutional geniuses out there that continue to send me all this mail [mocking] “Why are you so opposed to a wall with Mexico?”  What do we know about roads, canals, bridges, and improvements?  To put the question another way, what did the men that drafted and ratified the Constitution say about the constitutional authority granted to the national, now 4.1 trillion-headed hydra monster Kraken that sits on the banks of the Potomac River?  What do we know about the power to build roads and bridges, etc.?  We know as late as 1843 or so it didn’t exist.  Gee, how did it get in there?  I don’t know, Mike, how did it get in there?  Gee, listener, I cannot explain it to you, other than Congress decided that it ought to be in there.  They looked and they went: It’s not in there.  It’s got to be in there.  Look again.  I don’t know, dude, I’m shaking it up and down.  It’s not in there.  Wait a minute.  I shook it really hard and a couple pieces of paper fell out.  They’re shredded, but if I take these words and arrange them in the proper order, then we can — okay, great.

It never ceases to amaze my philosophical, thinking mind and republican, constrained mind the lengths to which “conservatives” wish to use, utilize, harness, and then unleash nonrestrictive, ever-expanding uses of government power that don’t exist and cannot be found in anyone who was alive in the first hundred years of ‘Murica’s existence in their dreams.[/private]

They could never have imagined this stuff.  Somehow conservatives today, [mocking] “Oh, yeah, they meant to put that in there.”  Did they, really?  If they meant to put it in there and you elevate them on these pedestals, you would think they would have been smart enough to put it in there.  [mocking] “Yeah, well they were busy.”  Busy doing what?  They just freed themselves from taxes without representation.  What were they busy doing?  This is truly amazing, it really is.

End Mike Church Show Transcript

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