States Don’t Have Courage To Tell Feds To Pound Hemp

todayMay 19, 2014

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Mandeville, LA – Exclusive Transcript – So 8,000 years of recorded history and this is the zenith of our genius, permits and agencies that force citizens and farmers to jump through flaming hoops of non-hemp and fire in order to obtain a seed to perform one of the oldest acts known to mankind, agriculture.”  Check out today’s transcript for the rest…

Begin Mike Church Show Transcript

Mike:  Some of you will remember there was a giant oil spill out in the Gulf of Mexico, the Deepwater Horizon oil rig, right off the coast of my state where I am currently ensconced, Louisiana.  You will remember there was this wave of thick crude oil that was on a collision course for the Louisiana coast.  Obama was dragging his feet.  The federal government were dragging their feet.  They really didn’t have any interest in doing anything about this, even though they had a contingency plan.  There were ships that were parked right in Mobile Bay with these ginormous, I can’t remember what they call them, but they sit on the surface of the water and they surround an oil spill.  You can tow these things, after you’ve encircled the oil spill, and you can pull the spill away from the shore.  These things were forwardly placed just in case a Deepwater Horizon happened.  Yet, when they needed to be called upon, Obama and company were nowhere to be found.

In any event, the governor of Louisiana at the time, he’s still the governor, Governor Jindal had concocted a plan where the State of Louisiana, the Department of Interior here or whatever department, I think it was Wildlife and Fisheries, was going to go off the coast, which was within our boundaries, not in international or federal waters, and we were going to stop the oil from coming in.  We were going to place our own barricade up there.  What was going to happen is we were going to take these giant barges out with cranes on them and move enough sand — because the water is very shallow there, and put it in place to make kind of a temporary levy until a plan could be devised on what to do with the oil.  The federales came down here and told Governor Jindal: If you put a bowline in that water with a crane on it with a grain of sand you try to do that, we’ll arrest anyone on the spot.  What the governor and legislature should have done is say: Pardon me, but screw you.  The boundaries of this state extend, according to our constitution of 1812, three leagues out from the far-most barrier island.  That would be approximately ten miles.  Where we’re planning on doing this only a mile and a half off the coast.  It’s not your water, sir, it’s ours.

Besides the fact that it used to be land.  Where Jindal was talking about — you people that live here in Louisiana on the Gulf Coast, you know this all too well.  That used to be land.  It has eroded.  Why has it eroded?  Collusion with the Corps of Engineers and oil companies to dig canal systems and reroute the Mississippi River, which has prevented the buildup of silt, which was naturally occurring for millions of years off the coast of Louisiana.  The result: the Louisiana coastline shrinking.  I don’t want to get into that.  In any event, the governor threatened to stand up.  He threatened to have the Coast Guard, who would try to stop them, thrown in jail.  Instead, Obama came down here and wagged his finger in his face and he bailed.  He caved.

The same thing is going to happen in Kentucky.  No one is going to stand up to the federal monstrosity.  I’m going to make a crude analogy here.  It’s almost like in the last remake of Planet of the Apes starring Mark Wahlberg.  Young Eric, what did the ape Caesar say that started the revolt?  One word, what did he say?

Eric:  I remember he had a hate for humans.

Mike:  He said no.  “Hey, you get back in your cage,” and he goes, “No.”

Eric:  That was the one with James Franco.  I didn’t see that one.  The one with Mark Wahlberg, they didn’t have Caesar in that one.

Mike:  You’re right.  All it took was one word, “No.”  Of course, we’re not apes, but I digress.  Back to the story.  I want you to see if there’s an update on this.  As far as I know, the DEA is still holding hostage the hemp seeds.  There are a bunch of DEA agents that are standing around this container car that has 250 pounds of hemp seeds in it.  They have flamethrowers aimed at the sacks of hemp seeds.  They’re going, [mocking] “Hey, you Kentucky rednecks, one move and the hemp seed gets it.  Don’t mess with us.  We mean business.”

Eric:  Do you think there’s a fee attached to the permit they have to fill out?

Mike:  Of course there’s a fee.  You haven’t played our game before, have you, our game of Feds v. the rest of the planet?  There’s always a fee.  I like the story so much, 20 percent off in the Founders Tradin’ Post all weekend long.  I just told Maggie O’Connell: Use the coupon discount code HEMP.  It’s a protest statement.  I’m serious, she’s making the discount code now.


The DEA letter signed by the Deputy Assistant Administrator Joseph T. Rannazzisi of the Office of Diversion Control, insists there is some confusion as a result of this year’s farm bill, which legalized hemp for research purposes in states like Kentucky that have regulatory regimes.

[end reading]

Mike:  Just think about this.  You have to set up a regulatory regime in your own state.  The federal government has commanded you to set up a regulatory regime.  I’m going to ask the question again, for Senator Paul, Senator McConnell and Kentucky legislators: Under what authority did you pass a bill, send it to the president’s desk to compel any state to open a regulatory agency to regulate what?  Under what authority are you regulating hemp to start with?  If the State of Kentucky says that hemp is legal, then they’ve made their statement on regulatory matters.  Oh, but wait a minute.  We’ll do that because it’s good for the government of the State of Kentucky.  We can grow Kentucky’s government.  We’ll just transfer the regulatory authority to Kentucky.  Why would you do that?  This is like saying we need to have a regulatory agency for hay.  [mocking] “You can’t import that hay.  It’s got, I don’t know, it’s got something in it, but you can’t import it.  Do you have a hay regulatory agency?”  Why would I need a hay regulatory agency?  It’s hay.  Horses and cows eat it, for crying out loud.  [mocking] “Because we said so, that’s why.”  This is all just so ridiculous, but there is a point.  Someone is being paid.  All along the way they’re being paid, brother.


“Senator McConnell secured a long-awaited federal victory for industrial hemp production in Kentucky as his provision allowing Commissioner Comer to start pilot programs was signed into law,” said Robert Steurer, in McConnell’s Kentucky office. “Senator McConnell is working directly with Senator Paul, Commissioner Comer and federal officials to ensure that seeds are available so that Kentucky’s pilot programs can move forward.”

[end reading]

Mike:  Ladies and gentlemen, my brain is about to explode.  I don’t even want to do this story anymore.  Here we are in 2014 talking about a far-reaching, globally-menacing government that has seized the power, seized the authority over whether or not the citizens of a state, in this instance Kentucky, can obtain seeds to grow an herbivorous plant that has historically been used to produce all manner of goods for the betterment and enjoyment of man in his existence, whether it be rope, clothing, container articles, whatever the case may be.  So 8,000 years of recorded history and this is the zenith of our genius, permits and agencies that force citizens and farmers to jump through flaming hoops of non-hemp and fire in order to obtain a seed to perform one of the oldest acts known to mankind, agriculture.

There’s a word for this in every language that has ever been studied.  There is a word for agriculture in every language, yet in 2014, we are so evolved and enlightened that, [mocking] “It’s not just as simple as grabbing a seed, Mike, and putting in the ground and watering it.”  “I don’t know, man,” said Luke Wilson in Idiocracy.  Maybe the Brawndo stuff is what the problem is with the hemp seeds.  Maybe if we put water on the hemp seeds they’ll grow.  We’re at idiocracy right now over this matter.  This is so unbelievably stupefying, it defies a description.  I don’t even have a description for it, other than to say idiocracy, and that’s a noun.  We started this with the story about how the legal marijuana trade in Colorado is causing the Mexican marijuana cartels to alter what it is they do.


The DOJ’s National Drug Intelligence Center, which has since been shut down, found in 2011 that the top cartels controlled the majority of drug trade in marijuana, heroin, and methamphetamine in over 1,000 US cities.

Now, those cartels and their farmers complain that marijuana legalization is hurting their business. And some reports could suggest that the DEA is more interested in helping to protect the Mexican cartels’ hold on the pot trade than in letting it dissipate.

[end reading]

Mike:  So we’re helping the cartel head cutters.  You know when they don’t get their way, these Mexican drug cartels, they go into these little towns where the marijuana is grown, and if anyone tries to start any funny business, all the first-born males wind up with their heads cut off the next day.


The Washington Post reported on Tuesday that pot farmers in the Sinaloa region have stopped planting due to a massive drop in wholesale prices, from $100 per kilo down to only $25. One farmer is quoted as saying, “It’s not worth it anymore. I wish the Americans would stop this legalization.”

[end reading]

Mike:  Folks, this is exactly what Ron Paul, during one of those presidential debates, when asked about this and then is turned into a stupid rebuttal from Chris Wallace about heroin, this is exactly what Congressman Paul said.  If we legalize marijuana, you put the drug cartels out of business.  We ought to legalize trade with Mexico.  But no, our government wants to keep the game alive.  Why?  Because it’s good for the people that run the jails.  Why?  It’s good for the agents running around out there listening to me right now packing the DEA badges and packing the DEA hardware, that’s why.  And now it’s all over.  Legal substance is being smoked in Colorado without instance, and a legal substance to be planted in the hinterland fields of the great State of Kentucky, she, borne from the bosom of the great State of Virginia in the year of our Lord 1794.  How ridiculous can you get?

End Mike Church Show Transcript

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Written by: AbbyMcGinnis

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