The Mike Church Show World HQ
The Mike Church Show World HQ

The Idiocy of Government Mandated High Efficiency Washing Machines

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AG: Procter & Gamble.

Mike: Procter & Gamble makes Tide, thank you. And he was chewing that woman out who was and Rand was saying, Im offended. This is appalling that you think that you can come into my house and regulate my toilet and my shower, and my appliances dont work anymore. And remember, we did a whole, just accidentally stumbled onto this subject. And for two or three days there we had calls and people calling and complaining and telling their stories about how these new modern appliances just dont work. And I told a story about, here, not only do they not work, they stink. Literally, they stink.

If you are now forced to buy one of these godforsaken, inefficient, washing machines, these front-loading HE, Oh, but its high efficiency. Yeah, man, its like its high efficiency, man. Its like you capitalist pigs, man, its like you dont know anything about, like, you know, water conservation and stuff, man. Well, let me tell you something, whale-humper. Speaking of whale humping, by the way, before I finish this, dont let me forget to talk about that stupid killer whale, Tilikum, whos back on the prowl for human meat. Anyways, so the whale humpers are out there excoriating us for the last 20 years about water conservation, as if were running out of water. Oh, water, weve got to conserve why do we have to conserve water? Theres no shortage of water. What are you nut jobs talking about?

So in their infinite infernal wisdom our federal masters at the Department of Energy created these godawful standards for these godawful inefficient piece of you know what, well, Im just saying, they are pieces of [bleep]. They dont work, these washing machines, dishwashers, microwaves, none of them work the way the old ones used to. And these high-efficiency front-loading machines, oh ho ho ho brother, they are the worst. They dont wash clothes because they dont use any water. You can sit there, Ive told this story before, and you cant see any water in the damn thing, and your clothes come out looking exactly as they did before. Theres a nice douse of perfume on them. You get a little fragrance on them. They come out kind of wet. But theyre not clean.


So Mrs. Church is howling, get in here, youve got to see this commercial. You know what its a commercial for? One of the pitfalls of these godawful, inefficient, pathetic excuses for an appliance, these front-loading washing machines, they mildew. They mildew horrifically. You people that own them, myself included, you know this. Do you have a front-loading, AG?

AG: Yeah, my apartment complex has the whole new set of them.

Mike: Okay, so you go down, like, to the laundromat place with the HEs. Okay, youre in a little different situation. They may have somebody going through there and maintaining them, or they may be in use so often that they dont get a chance to mildew. If you have one in your home, and unless youre going to have Hazel the maid there, whos non Hazel the maid, good grief, thats a voice out of the past who is nonstop washing clothes, then you wouldnt have a constant flow of water through there, so youre creating the instance in which the HE front-loading washing machine can mildew.

And folks, you know, if you own one of these, you probably have dealt with this, you have to take the whole apparatus apart where you put the detergent and everything in, you have to take the damn thing out, just literally youve got to force it out, however youve got to get it out, you have to take the tray out. And when you get to the back of it, youll see its just covered in black on the inside of the bowl, the bowl, the steel bowl on the inside of the damn thing. If you could see underneath the grate, you would find unbelievable amounts of mildew. These things are not designed properly. They dont work. They dont clean clothes. And they stink.

So in order to conserve water, were told we have to have these things because were running out of water. Well, guess what, now Tide is out there making, guess what Tides newest product is? I know it took me 10 minutes to tell this story, but its worth it. Tides newest product is a mildew cleanser that requires two wash cycles to clean the damn mildew out. So we conserve all this water, oh, the whales are happy, the dolphins are just a-humpin and a-happy out there, theyve got all this fresh water. My washing machine smells of mildew, but the dolphins are happy. Well, the dolphins arent going to be so happy today because youve got to run this thing, not once, but twice. And they recommend you do it at least once a month. So for the little bit of water that youre conserving, even though were not running out of water, in the HE washing machine you now, in order to keep the damn thing clean and to keep mildew smell out of your clothes, now you have to run the mildew cleaner.

I have a question for you people out there. Do you think that General Electric or LG, whoever in the hell it is that designed these things in cahoots with the department, with the criminal class at the Department of Energy, these thieves, these unconstitutional busybody little thieves who steal our livelihoods, they steal our money with their regulations and their rules, they steal our liberties, they compel us to buy things we would otherwise not buy, they take choices away from us, do you think for one moment that someone didnt say, in the development team, when they were putting these things together, hey, these things are going to stink. Theyre going to be prone to mildew.

And do you think that some nitwit at GE or whatever didnt tell his buddy at Procter & Gamble [chuckling], this is just too good to be true. We compel, we force everybody to buy these new machines, they dont work as well, so they have to use twice the scarecrow smart grid energy, then they have to use twice the amount of washing detergent, and then we can charge more because its this HE crap. Youll also notice that the HE stuff is far more expensive than the old fuddy-duddy powder stuff, which worked just fine because it had phosphates in it. And now, a couple years after the bowls are all mildewed up and stinking, then we can sell them this mildew cleaner. Its quite a racket they have going on here, and it just angers me. It pisses me off because none of this is necessary. How many of you people ever had mildew problems in the old top-loading, 30-gallon-per-cycle washing machine? People out there going, Oh, Mike, not me.


American Foreign Policy: Friend today, enemy tomorrow.

Meet Brian Duff, he use to work at Procter & Gamble (makers of Tide) before landing his pull-peddling taxpayer-financed job as Chief Engineer (avg. $185k annually) at the Office of BIOMASS for the U.S. Department of Energy.

MANDEVILLE, LOUISIANA – Mike examines the sheer lunacy of the federal government mandating high-efficiency washing machines which as a result use so little water they leave clothes dirty and smelling of mildew which forms inside of the washing drums. So it goes, the Washington-Two-Step, where phony regulatory agencies set up for the appearance of protecting the environment, forests, parks, air, et al are really nothing more than mafia-like fronts for the multi-national corporations to send former employees so as to pass regulations which benefit them and lock out competition. Whether it is t
he FDA staffed with acolytes from Monsanto or the SEC filled with pull-peddling bottom-feeders from Goldman Sachs, it is just one big club as George Carlin use to say; and you’re not in it.

Begin Mike Church Show Transcript

Mike: There was an advertisement from the Tide laundry detergent company. Now, is that Palmolive? Who makes Tide? Is that Procter & Gamble? Its one of the big three. Its either Palmolive, Procter & Gamble, or Johnson & Johnson. I dont know who makes it. Anyway, it doesnt matter. Remember the discussion that we had, remember when we played Rand Pauls audio about how the appliances dont work, and he was chewing out that woman…

Zero point zero.

Mike: Its just another one of these unintended consequences, but I would argue which was actually an intended consequence. But dont worry because our federal government has got our back. They are controlling all of these things. Our wonderful federal masters are meeting right now, and they are poring through the budget, line by line, in one of the biggest disgraceful moments in the history, and this is saying a lot, in the history of the House of Representin. Theres going to be a major budget compromise announcement today. Why, theyre going to march up to the podium together holding hands, singing Kumbaya and the Coke song. And Dumbocrats are going to say, well, these Tea Party nut jobs finally caved in and gave in to our wishes here. We finally have a budget that cuts an astounding, an astounding $61 billion out of the proposed increase for this year. Theyre not even covering the increase. Theyre not even cutting all the increase from last years budget.

I mean, this is the I dont know what to say about this other than the Constitution, again, is dead. It has no effect whatsoever. Its dead. Bury it. Get the funeral pyres out and get over it. Today what we have is a 535-member crime family meeting, reminiscent of the old movies where you had gangsters like Al Capone meeting around a big giant round table. They get to decide, they get to carve up all of our wealth. They get to decide, they get to carve up all of our childrens wealth. And it really doesnt matter what you say about it, it really doesnt matter what you think about it, and it really doesnt matter whether or not you went and voted for someone. Because, again, voting doth not matter. Now, Mike, Mike, Mike, come on, the Constitution has to have some effect.

I want you to listen to something here. Theres a couple of things, digital media files here today. By the by, if youre keeping score, let me just sidebar here for a minute before I get to the keeping score part. Why are so many people just unaware, not caring, dont seem to think its a big deal that we are now engaged in, not one, not two, but three military conflicts known as wars, simultaneously? Three wars. Can anyone name the empire that has been able to wage multiple wars at one time for decades on end and is still here to tell the story about it? Can anybody name just one? Name just one. Here, Ill make the task easier. Name one that is still in existence today. Because, Well, Mike, I dont know a lot about world history. Okay, well, just pick a country today. See if you can find one that is waging three wars. Now, they have to be wars abroad. You have to have sent troops hither and yon. I mean, I am absolutely blown away by this.

The more I think about it, the more I learn about it, the more repulsed I get, and the more resolved or the more crystallized in my mind it becomes that there really is no hope here, folks. We are out of hope. We have nothing to hope for. We have nothing to aspire for, for this current menagerie that we call these United States of America. Its over. Its over. Were going to finish our little epoch in history broke. Were going to finish our little epoch in history having invaded more countries, having been the single largest invader and occupier of other peoples sovereign countries in the history of the known universe. Were going to finish our little epoch as having taken the greatest bastion and repository of natural resources and squandered them in the history of Earth. Were going to go down in history as having had the greatest potential for freedom, human freedom and liberty in the history of the planet, and having wasted it. Were going to go down in history as having lived under one of the, if not the best organized political system ever in the history of Earth, and having figured out a myriad of ways to screw it up, and then having lost it.

End Mike Church Show Transcript

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About the author

Host of the Mike Church Show on The Veritas Radio Network's CRUSADE Channel & Founder of the Veritas Radio Network. Formerly, of Sirius/XM's Patriot channel 125. The show began in March of 2003 exclusively on Sirius and remains "the longest running radio talk show in satellite radio history".

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